My dads role

"People aren't even candidates for Stem Cell Transplant if they don't have a full-time caregiver in their lives," Dr. Nadie said. I glanced over at my mom, raised a finger and pointed it directly at her. What would this situation be like if my parents didn't have each other to lean on, to support each other and to help push on? It's a weird, surreal situation having a family member sick with cancer. It's the rollercoaster of emotions, feelings, numbness and ideals of being "sick."


I stared at my dad the entire duration of the meeting with Dr. Nadie. He looked healthy, fit, handsome . . how can those enlarged lymph nodesbe so harmful? Be so corrupting, such a slap in the face. Take them out . . right? That was my first reaction, not so simple.


Then I said, the tumors are shrinking, done, good, wash our hands clean and move on. Live our lives. Not so simple either. Doctors had failed to mention previously the cancer is"low-grade" and will return. Chemo isn't going to fix it, will only suppress it.


So my dad's options we all asked - - eyes glazed off into space. Wait for the cancer to return, because it will, and have a 10-20% success rate of successfully getting ride of it (temporarily of course) or a Stem Cell Transplant. So that's the answer - the choice me, my mom and my sister choose. But it's not our body to choose or make that decision. Unfortunately, there is only a small time frame to make the decision, but I think I know what decision my dad will make.


His life filled with surfing, friends, VDub buses, my mom, vacations, two daughters, three sisters, painting, keeping our house immaculate and loving everyone in his life unconditionally; is not over. He has daughters to watch get married, become a grandpa, celebrate a 50th & 60 wedding anniversary and celebrate his existence. Because at 52 years old, my dads place on this earth is a the only way things make sense. In a current world filled with struggles and disappointments, he is my family's rock in a hard place. Our strength. Our family.